It was my misfortune to be the product of Immaculate Deception.
My Mama was an accidental parent.
She did not want, & my GranMa Pen didn’t like, kids.
They punished me for being alive & fed me guilt bottled with thin milk.
This set the form of my personality & partnered me on the rocky road I picked to plod.
I’m going to skip years of history & get to my stroke of very bad luck. Though I
had been to the bottom of the well before, it was only after that happened I finally saw
my murky reflection.
Healing began when I stopped blaming the past for present choices. I come a long way
toward being guilt free & loving myself at last, but still troubled by intermittent
anxiety. Most times triggered by World events over which I have no control. I feared
succumbing to the lethargy that panic can cause. Depression is too comfortable.
Then a Twitter buddy, Peter Smith @TalkingCures suggested we chat over Skype to see if he could help me.
Since our camera was broke, we could see him but he couldn’t see me.
We talked for almost 3 hours.
It has taken my many months to assess this conversation because the relief was so remarkable, I wanted to see if it was also long-lasting.
Peter is a very kindly, thoughtful & intelligent man. I felt immediately at ease with
revealing my deepest memories. By gentle persuasion he brought me back to the scene
of a childhood incident. One so seared in my memory, it remains vivid in-spite of my
deliberate attempt to obliterate it with lifelong intoxication. Through his guidance I was
able to release much congealed suppuration & see it for the crime it was.
His theory of physical illness having roots in emotional memory is supported by my research into mind/body connection & our ability to re-arrange our DNA code with conscious intention.
Peter gave me confidence to dig out & toss the last warty guilt attached to my psyche.
Months have passed but my elevated self-esteem remains strong. Occasionally I have a
flutter of worry, who doesn’t? But I take me in my arms & give myself a hug.
Looking out at the fragile creatures still flying, swimming & birthing babies in-spite the uncertainty of Life; I know like them, I have but a little time on this Planet.
We’re going to relish every minute.
I thank Peter for his self less devotion to giving others hope & encouragement. As he
said to me “I want you to live the Life you deserve which was taken from you.” Anyone
who needs a hand up out of their darkness will do well to reach toward him.